Saturday, 28 November 2015


    Five spaces. Then I begin writing. I took my shirt off and stood quietly at the edge of my bed. There I let a few hours pass by, just by looking at the walls. I feel my head spinning, everytime I try to get up from my bed. I can't even hold it up. Even then my thoughts are like mud.
     I decide to sleep. I don't. I just put on a record and lie down. Getting up and putting it on the stereo takes much more effort and time than usually. I don't think I'm drunk. I've never been.
     Then I just lie down. Drenched in misery and melody.
     How quickly would I die? If I jumped from the top of the parachutes?

Sunday, 8 November 2015

Don't Ever Let Anyone Tell You You Deserve That

     Everything seems to be falling apart. After midnight it had started to rain. I went up on the rooftop alone and opened my arms to the raindrops. I don't know why. I felt so skinned-alive. Every single cell in my body shouted with joy. Blood pumping in my ears. Air blowing my shirt half-open. Shivers down my spine. Raindrops in my eyes, my mouth, my mind. Venturing deep in my soul. I seemed to lose control. No speech. Slipping slowly out of reach. You've never seen me act like that. It was like falling in love. Again. Or more correctly like collapsing in love.
     I lost myself.